Retrospective Wrath

“I promise you you will search for me in every woman you will meet
But you’ll never find me”  I shouted out as I symbolically blocked you from my life and violently threw my phone across the room.

You’re contemplating on the massive henious void that I left you in
Bewildered by how naive and disorientated you were to let go of that earth-shattering feminine force that kept you up
That sprung you from the dirt and stubbornly went looking for you
Ignored the fire burning down my lungs
Nonchalant of the conspicuous clamorous warning signs
Labelling my pride as “archaic and deserted goods”,
I grabbed my shovel and ran to unearth the man I was once fond of; the one my soul unconditionally admired
….I shouldve forseen the collapse that followed,
For the most unflattering monstrous version of you unleashed.
Foolish girl, you would still stand in the midst of his metamorphosis and aesthetically describe it as “raw transparency”
Telling yourself its the finest form of intimacy…
I didn’t know that I was merely holding on -for dear life- to the same hands that wiped my tears and balanced me yet clapped in advocacy of my decline

I know in my heart that you will not look for me
For you’ve declared a backbone obsolete
Undoubtedly, you will settle for the next woman that feeds your eyes and confirms to your lustrous outrageously mistaken ideas on what makes a truly badass woman.

Sarah Awji

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